Running

Why on earth am I running? Why am I running for Student Council President?

Because this time round, I think I had the right mind to know that a new kid on the block who barely knows anything about the culture doesn't stand a chance at even being selected as a candidate.

And here I am...

It's funny, every time I tell myself it's not realistic for something to happen, it does happen; and vice versa.

So, when I found out that I was chosen as a candidate, I asked myself the standard question: do you really want to do this because if not now is a great time to quit.

There were the arguments that were equally standard as the question. I love doing this Student-Council stuff. I just seem to love organising events. I mean, come one, I've been doing it for the past, what, 7 years? Backstage, on stage, in power, no power, 20 people, 700 people, I've done it all. But is that enough.

I thought long and hard. Then, just as I was about to end it all, it hit me...

Remember Houston (if you are an avid reader of my blog, or if you know me well enough)? Who got me there? Ok, it wasn't Student Council back in Laurensia but it was two friends.

Then there are these single-digit number of friends around in IICS that turned my life around, so quickly into the "game". These angels, probably sent by God or someone, to make my journey in this school much better. To give me a piece of mind and to reduce my fretting over trepidation.

All my life, I've been shaped by my peers. I've seen how much I've grown in a good way because of them. They have changed my life. If I ever am or will be successful, they are inevitably one of the biggest reasons why. I'd probably still be the alien antisocial around if it weren't for a bunch of guys that spared a part of their lives to take me in. I look back and see all the things that wouldn't have ever happened if it weren't for my friends.

There are so many people around us who sit in a room for hours each day whom I admire so greatly. All the things I have learnt about life from them just amazes me; and it's such a great thing that my life's that way.

However, sometimes, it seems like I'm the only one who ever learns from other people, or who believes in other people so much, and that makes me feel like I'm either crazy, which I in recent days have learnt am not, or that I see something that other people simply never had the chance to see because nobody ever gave them the chance to.

I want to show the school, and then the world, what I see. I see untapped potential. I'm probably not the only one who sees it. All I want to do is let it out. I want to help you let others change your life like some people have changed mine. I want the Student Council to be only one of many sources of support. I want us to be help you achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. I dream of the day that someone comes to me and says "I wanna try out writing competitions!" and I can make it happen. It's about being each others' reason for success. It's about having an open mind to learn from those at our level from those also sitting on the students' desks.

It's amazing what Youth Empowerment can do. I've learnt in my years that we're not crazy when we say YOUth Make Things Happen. But that's only because there's a HERO in you. However, in the world of Youth Empowerment, and in the efforts of achieving that "holistic education" we all seek, everyone has a role to play, and everyone has to play the part if there is a hope that together we shine.

I want to learn from you and I want others to learn what I have learnt from you. I want to endorse you, show the school and the world how great you are and how great all us Huskies are, and help you change the lives of others.

I want to be proud to be an IICS. I want to be proud to be a Husky, and for the pride to be genuine.

And therefore, I'm running; I'm running for Student Council President...

It All Comes Down To... (The Story of Production Night)

I walked into the auditorium of Erasmus Huis and stared at the tiny stage. It was all what it came down to.

***

It was not one bit easy for me to make it to that point. It wasn't easy for all of us. Though we had done it before, there was a lot of apprehension over the fact that we could not do it again. People doubted us, and it made a lot of sense. It looked to be falling apart and dwindling to the ground. It was falling apart and dwindling to the ground. However, there was no turning back. We had no choice. Somehow, we had to make it work. Somehow.

Upon my return to Raffles PSB Singapore School, I was already given a job. Who would think that a returning student who had not even sat for his first class would have already been appointed as Director for the school's upcoming Christmas production? I had rejoined the school just in time for their second production of 'Dr Susses' How The Grinch Stole Christmas'. It seemed absurd that of all plays, we had to do this one. Why couldn't we just do a play with perfectly human characters? What seemed even more absurd was that we were doing this with a school of practically 200 people, that figure inclusive of all students, teachers and non-teaching staff from all levels. Then again, we had done it before.

We staged a production of 'The Wizard of Oz' literally in 15 days. 15 days of sleepless nights and continuous rehearsals was what it took to stage, despite circumstances, a spectacular show. What I learnt from the last production's experience just before I left the school about two years ago was the true meaning of the line of poetry "when there is a will, there is a way." So, with that said, I guessed that that time should have been no different. I know how to have a will and thus, there is a way. This thing was going to happen, one way or another.

So, there was no turning back and we had to make it work somehow. When there is a will, there is a way. Yet, at the half way point, just under two months into the process of rehearsals, we deemed it true that it was not going to work and there was no way. It was a project deemed hopeless.

At one point, I turned to Ms Diana, the teacher who was my fellow Director, and told her that I could take it no more. I kept asking myself why I was doing it all in the first place. Then again, it was, and still is, my love for the school that kept me going. I had to repay what the school had done for me and my future with more than just tuition fees. I have to show them in my short three-month return not only what I had learnt in the previous school but also how all that I had learnt in my first four years in PSB has helped greatly.

I decided to step up and fulfil my duty to simply make it happen. On top of that, I decided that I would make sure it happened with quality that I am proud of. It's not that someone came to me and motivated me to not quit. I really did want to end it all. I wasn't getting paid to direct the production and it all only seemed not worth the time and sacrifices. But somehow, I couldn't leave. I just could not help but finish what I stated. I didn't want it to haunt me for the rest of my life. On top of it all, I didn't want to disappoint everyone. It was just easier to move on than to quit.

***

So the day came. It was really happening. Three buses of performers pulled over. The students skipped up the flight of stairs to the second floor and took their seats in the auditorium based on their performing groups. Their smiles shined so brightly and their laughter filled the air with glee. Their emotional state was contrary to mine that was filled with fear and anxiety.

The day had just started and things were already off to a rough start. The show was scheduled to start at three and the time was already nine. The usually heavy traffic of Jakarta's morning rush hour caused the buses to be late. Tardiness was not a common problem in our school and we had not expected it to ruin our day's plans. Almost the entire cast raised their hands when asked who needed to go to the toilet when the toilet could only accommodate so many people at one time. The children were very hungry and a time had not been found to allow them to eat the countless boxes of food the parents had generously provided for us. Major props had yet to arrive. The boy who was supposed to play Max the Grinch's dog was still at home trying to recover from a fever that just seemed to get higher and higher. Worst of all, a dry run had yet to be done with the entire cast on the actual stage for the first and last time.

It was unimaginable. The tension was way too tense. Disaster had already lurked at my heels. I looked around and saw what my pessimistic mind envisioned. Everything was just not right. Then, as things got worse, so did the stress of it all. People were screaming and scolding each other over problems that were not even clear. Innocent little kids came up to me to ask appropriate and well educated questions only to get scolded by me because I didn't have the time to spare the few seconds needed to appreciate and understand. I would scream in their faces saying things like "Don't come to me for these kind of petty things!" or "Not now, I don't have the time for you. Figure it out yourself or ask Mr X or Ms Y." I would yell in their faces and leave them just like that. Even if deep down inside I wanted to help, I just could not. I had far more major and disastrous matters to worry about. In the rapid race against time, we probably weren't thinking when we were working. We were running around like headless chickens. One teacher asks a boy to go to the make-up room to get his make-up done before wearing his costume and on his way to the make-up room, the boy bumps into another teacher telling him to do the exact opposite. Imagine the confusion this nine-year-old boy is faced with. Imagine the chaos and disorder caught in all the drama and desperation.

However, one thing still surprises me to this day. I can scold a PSB, I can starve a PSB in the name of lunchtime one-on-one script reading, and I can even scream vulgarities in the face of a PSB, and yet, they still appreciate me. They still respect me whole hearted and hold no grudge on me. They understand me and can read my true intentions that are hidden way deep down inside and they read that it is good. I don't get a group of people like this to work with in any other institution and for that, it is one quality of a PSB that I truly do admire and appreciate.

***

In the rush of it all, somehow, we come to a stage where everything was ready. Everyone miraculously appears in the back stage holding room all properly seated based on their performing groups and all neatly dressed and made up. All eyes are on the two directors standing in the middle of the room and absolute silence is heard for the very first time that day. It was a moment that was the anomaly that day. The moment was an opportunity to finally catch my breath after hours of mayhem. We gave our final instructions and composed ourselves into prayer which, compared to the rest of the day, was a moment of great peace and tranquillity.

Then, it was show time!

As every line was uttered, I followed my script that was scribbled with instructions all over it. The play progressed line by line and as each line was recited, I thought of how many times that line had been rehearsed. Writing each line of the script was a painstaking process. Some lines were the results of hours and hours of careful consideration and thought. I pondered over certain phrases over my weekend, thinking of how to make this short phrase rhyme and fit just right. It takes hours for the line "The best who of the year will be given the once-in-a-year honour to light up the Who Christmas Tree" to develop into "The best Who of every year, will be honoured to light up to tree with holiday cheer!" just to make it rhyme. Then, it takes rounds and rounds of rehearsals and one-on-one script reading to perfect that one line. A lot goes behind one line. A lot of hard work and attention to detail goes behind making that three-second moment just a little more special. All the countless hours of preparation came down to only 120 minutes of each our lives.

When the intermission finally came about, I had the chance to mingle with the audience. To see smiles on people's faces and to hear positive reviews on what had been showcased up to that point finally gave me a sense of comfort and relief. It warmed the heart. However, what was even more touching was just seeing who was there. Everyone's family was there. The Grinch's grandmother who was in a wheelchair took the effort to see her grandson perform. Down to those who worked off stage, be it the props people or even the ushers, their parents were all present to support us, along with the extended family. Former teachers, alumni and down to the spouses of the teachers all came. It was the entire family of the school. Everyone was involved in one way or another, and that is what makes it so special and rewarding.

I leave the school with an experience like none other, feeling proud to have been, and still be, a PSB.

You Might Not Have Tomorrow To Do It

"If you ever plan on changing someone's life someday, do it today, because you might not have tomorrow to do it."

That's what I learnt that day in chapel. It really hit me that life is like a reality show. One day you could be playing the game and the next you're eliminated. We really don't know when time will be up.

It's not just death. It's about leaving an institution or environment or leaving a period of time where something is or is happening.

Then, one day, you decided that there's something you want to tell someone, something that will change their lives for the better forever. Something that could ultimately make the world a better place in the long run. But then, you decide to wait for whatever reason you might have. But you didn't have another day to do it. You're gone, just like that, and what great potential your "plan" had vanished into thin air.

You might not have tomorrow to do it, so don't wait for tomorrow...

Last Move

Who knew I'd end up in IPEKA International Christian School? Guess what? I myself am still baffled.

There is a burning thought/story in my mind right now that I'm actually dying to share with the whole world right now. However, I best not for now.

But I must say, within 23 school days, I have been overwhelmed. Outright, I will say that I have never "worked" in an institution with people this friendly in my life. Honestly, "IPEKAns" are extremely friendly; every single soul without exception. It's just unbelievable. The level of affability and conviviality is just so amazing that I'm running out of words to describe just how high the level of congeniality I've experienced is (and I'm beating about the bush with synonyms of friendly).

When I walked through the school gates in uniform for the first time, the only word that was going through my mind was "daunting". The building was really big to begin with. It's is the biggest campus I've ever studied in before but there are a million and one other aspects that are just "daunting".

I waited in the admission office just as instructed the day before. I waited to hear of my assigned class. At that time, I didn't even know if the classes went by A, B, C and D or 1, 2, 3 and 4. To my 'horror', I was assigned to class 11.4. It's not the people I have a problem with. Heck, I didn't even know the name of a single soul yet. What bothered me was the fact that it the curse seemed to live on. 8D, 9D, Sec 4 J doesn't count because class J was the only class, and now 11.4. I seem to be cursed with the number 4 or being in the fourth class. Lucky number four.

Reaching the seventh floor of the Junior and Senior High building, my feet were to an extent sore. I then proceeded to a Multi Function Room which till today I don't know what it's officially called. Us new students were told that everyone would have proceeded there immediately. To my belwilderment, the room was empty, making me think twice to wether I wasn't following instructions or I had been given the wrong instructions or the rest of the student body wasn't following instructions. Then, a lady in teacher's uniform walked into the room and that was when I knew that I wasn't in trouble.

The teacher was Ibu Ami, IBS (Indonesian Background Speakers) teacher, Year 11 coordinator and my form teacher. I was immidiately greeted with warmth and hospitality. As we started to engage in conversation, I was still feeling intense trepidation. I had no idea what was in store for me, for that morning, that day, and for the two years to come for that matter. Yet, Ibu Ami seemed to give me the impression new students generally survive. What she did to suggest that I don't quite remember, but something did. That day, the seventh floor played with and mixed around my emotions. It wasn't like I had never moved school before. It was what I enjoyed doing. Still, this was "daunting".

23 school days later, I still heard the word "daunting" being whispered into my ears every time I walk through the school gates. I've been through a lot of ups and downs but the benevolence to people makes up for all the downs.

I've been a PSB. I've been a Laurensian, and many other things. I'm still a PSB. I'm still Laurensian, and many other things. But now, I'm Ipekan (I made that term up, ok) and I don't think I will be anything else on top of what I am now. This will be my last move...

Prime Year, Prime Time

2011 is a Prime Number and 2011 has been a Prime Year for me. At the last New Year's Eve, I felt like God was trying to tell me that 2011 would be a good year. When I learnt that 2011 is a Prime Number in the middle of the year, I realised why.

Now that we are only minutes away from next year, I feel like I have achieved more this year than in all my other years combined.

The scholarship, which I ended up never taking, was the start of a winning streak. Imagine beating out thousands of people to make it into the top 21. That in itself was an extraordinary achievement.

A huge portion of it goes to I-SWEEEP. It was the first real serious International Competition that I had finally made. On top of that, it was what lead me to fulfilling my life-long dream, to travel half way across the world. Not to mention the after trip to Eastern USA, Canada and UAE. It was an adventure that truly broadened my horizons that I will never forget, including some of the most amazing experiences of my life, from climbing up the tallest building in the world to sliding down the "Leap of Faith". From the huge yet cheap Texas BBQ to the most expensive meal of my life in the Burj Al Arab Hotel. It was an education in itself.

Then there was the day where I graduated in a Toga for the first time. It was the day I left Santa Laurensia Junior High School. It was the day I learnt the single best word that describes myself: Proactive.

Not long after, we had our "Official Falling Apart" of our ASEAN Youth Club at Stevan Meat Shop (which I just went to two hours ago). That was a night truly touching.

A few weeks later, we had our first "Productive Hang-out" with the new generation: GYF 2011. It was that day when we labelled that little seating area in front of Pendopo at Living World as "The Corner From Where We Change The World. Then, just two weeks later, on a Saturday, it was our second "Productive Hang-out" which turned into my birthday event. It was a huge turning point for me. It was one of those few moments where I was genuinely able to view Laurensians in a brighter light.

A letter from Brazil came telling me that I had qualified for the finals of MOSTRATEC in Brazil. Unfortunately, the Brazil trip I had long anticipated didn't quite materialise. But that's alright, because the invitation letter was an achievement in itself.

After a few months of self study, fate brought me back to my roots: PSB. The day I joined them was the day I worked on the final major project of the year: The Production. It was an experience truly ending my journey in the most elegant manner.

However, with all the Prime Achievements, this year came the worst hardships. I've lost count of how many failures I've faced this year, including ICYS, ISPO, OPSI, and really a whole lot of other things I don't really want to think about now. Despite that, it was all worth it.

Now that 2011 is about to end, I feel like I'm walking away from success. I'm about to enter a new phase of my life. 2012 has a lot in store for me and I'm waiting to see if I will make it out of 2012 alive.

It's been a Prime Year. It's been a Prime Time.

The Best Of Role Models

My English teacher has this blog called 'Express Your Opinions!" where, well, the name says it all (see for yourself here). One of the questions thrown at us was "Who are your role models?" When I read the comments that came before me, Parents and Teachers seemed to be the most common answers. Yes it is undeniable that they are role models. However, for me, the biggest role models in my life don't fall under any of those two categories. The people on this earth who are my biggest role models have changed my life indirectly but in a very adversely positive way.


A role model to me is someone who I know inside-out, or at least know quite well. Thus, people like Oprah Winfrey and Bruno Mars, famous people, though are great people, don't qualify as a role model of mine. There is a simple reason behind that. Who knows what they are really like? I've experienced this first hand. I looked up to someone for such a long time just because of the reputation that he had and just because everyone talked good about him all the time, even though I didn't really know him well. Then, one day, when I did get to know him, and knew more and more about him, only to realised that I had been fooled by "The Cover". I'm not saying that a role model needs to be like a best friend who does everything with me and tells me literally every detail there is to know about him. What I'm saying is that a role model must be someone who has been able to convince me that they are admirable inside and out. The whole point of this is so that I truly learn the process behind what we see. There is no hidden conspiracy behind a person. Imagine admiring a great athlete who claims that he trains for 8 hours a day but what you didn't know was that really he's just taking steroids or whatever other drugs and just so happens to be really good at getting away with it. To see someone go from zero to hero with your very own eyes is just most ideal and convincing. This can only mean one thing, my role models are people who I know personally.

I truly do look up to my parents but the thing is, I just can't really compare them to myself well enough. I did not live to see them being my age. Circumstances were and still are different for us. Even though they do inspire me, the inspiration is not the strongest. In order for inspiration to really hit me at its strongest, it needs to be so applicable to me that I am genuinely fully inspired. In my opinion, the best role models I can have are those who are younger than me or at least the same age.

Every one looks up at all the "tall" adults around but does anyone ever "look down"? I'm sure that we are no stranger to the line of poetry "If you can do it, so can I!" Well, to better illustrate the point I'm about to make with a very extreme example, if my 40-year-old father can earn a million dollars an hour in the year 2011, can I, a teenager, with school and everything, earn a million dollars and hour in the year 2011? Most probably not. Impossible I guess, unless my father gives me his company or something. Maybe yes in the future, but who knows what the circumstances of our world will be like in 2050 when I'm 45 or even in 2012. However, if my classmate can get full marks on last week's Biology chapter test, can I get full marks on next week's Biology chapter test? If my younger brother is able cook dinner for the whole family one night, might I be able to cook dinner for the whole family the next?

I used to think that there was absolutely no way a Junior High student could win science fairs. In Indonesia, this was one industry conquered by the Senior Highs. Then, I had just terminated my science project and deemed it hopeless when two classmates, Becky and Owen, called to tell me that they won the national science fair and have been chosen to represent Indonesia in the international competition in Brazil! If Becky and Owen had never earned that ticket to Brazil (even though they didn't place in competition in Brazil), I wouldn't have even won the science fair the following year, let alone earn my ticket to Houston. They really have become role models in my life. Furthermore, they had the heart to help me with my project. They shared with me what they had learnt from their experience, allowing me to learn from their mistakes and repeat their right-doings. They were able to make me better than themselves. They lead me to a Bronze medal. In turn, they have really become my heroes.

I find much inspiration from my peers and from my Juniors. It amazes me sometimes to see a kid years younger than me obtain such amazing achievements. Whenever I do, I begin to ask myself "What was I doing when I was his age?"

I take the effort to tell all my role models how they affect me. I feel that they deserve to and need to know for their better. You don't have to look far and wide or up and high to find your role models. They may not even be the best ones. Heroes are all round us, and sometimes, you just have to look, well, down!

Rooted Roots

Within the year, I have left 2 different schools, both in good terms. As you leave an institution, you think of all the people that have been a part of the journey. You know you will miss them. Then you tell them that you'll try to keep in touch with them and you'll try to meet up often. Then they say that they are going to miss you and that your welcomed to visit any time. Both parties assure each other that they will be remembered and missed.

However, do all these hopes truly materialise? Will you really remember them and will you be remembered?

For the first week apart, usually a holiday, Facebook is filled with tagged photos of your time in the institution and Twitter is buzzing with farewell tweets saying that you will be, or already are, missed. You're still Skype calling people and chatting with them over MSN or YM. In the most hyperbolic cases, they tell you that it's only been one day and yet they already miss you so terribly (then how ever did you survive being apart over the weekend?). They randomly call you up and when you ask them why the random call and why not just a text, they say things like "I miss your voice" or "you get across more details orally" or other excuses they can think of.

Then, you decide to meet up. You spend quite an amount of phone credit arranging for a movie or just a nice chat over coffee at the mall. You feel like you're meeting you father who came back from the war in Iraq. You have a great time and tell each other that you should meet up again some other time. At this point in time, you still genuinely miss each other and feel their presence in your life. They still play an important role and therefore you still think about them every day.

But time goes on and you move on. You join another institution, or get caught up in your own stuff, and you relationship with them slowly fades away. They ask you stuff, especially about your new institution, from time to time. However, you get more and more preoccupied with the new people in your lives and slowly that relationship fades away to the point, though you haven't forgotten them, you just don't remember them. They no longer become a part of you daily life.

Since I've left Laurensia and PSB, it's funny how I still remember my peers and teachers. I still think about them almost every single day. I just randomly think about them. Every time I come across the word 'New York', a name and face crosses in my mind. Every time I go to Living World (the mall near Laurensia), a memory of my former peers is triggered.

But then, the question remains. As time progresses, will I still remember you and will you still be remembered? Will I still think of you every day of my life? Does it mean that I don't appreciate you anymore or is it simply part and parcel of life and human nature to forget? For how long will I remain rooted to my roots?

Just yesterday, when I woke up in the morning, I came across my English Portfolio from 8th grade. Then, I start to think of Ms Pia, my first English teacher in Santa Laurensia. I think of how she understood me and still took the effort to take care of me in class. Then, that afternoon, it just so happened that I coincidentally bumped into her at Living World and when I greeted her, the first thing I told her was that I just so happened to had been thinking about her.

Then, about 2 weeks ago, I was studying in my room doing some Maths exercises. The character in the word problem happens to be named Kenny. Then, I think of my old pal Kenny from back in Laurensia who played a huge role in my Laurensian journey. I stop working for a while, just to think about him. Then, thoughts run through my mind. "I wonder how he's doing now. Did he get accepted at the school he applied to? He's an awesome guy. Good character. I've always believed in him. He'll lead a successful life. He'll be fine. God Bless Him." I suddenly invested a few moments of my day just thinking about him, thinking about out past together, wondering how he is now, and wishing him a brighter future. Then, the most creepy part, at that very moment, a random text came into my phone at the most random time. It was from Kenny. "How did the production go?" And so he was also thinking about me, at least for a few seconds.

Life... Will I think about my past life just every single day?